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I Just Made Out With Bert McCracken

In my dreams. Believe me, if that was the case, would I really be sitting here at 12:09… oops. 12:10 AM at my drafting table writing in this notebook for a blog that no one reads? Would I be spewing this brain vomit (Thanks Elana) all over this water soaked notebook with the outline of the black Sharpie mustache on the page? No. My brain would be imploding (Getting all over Bert and probably ruining any chances of us lip-locking again.) with  “what the sweet baby chipmunks is going on in my life?”

                My mind is on chipmunks right now because I look like one. Well… Not usually, but for anyone who has had to make that trip to the oral surgeon and get teeth ripped out of their face, you know what I’m talking about. If you also have been allergic to the pain meds they give you (making you spew ACTUAL vomit everywhere), and had a stomach virus all in the same weekend, I feel for you, for this also happened to me. If insomnia is also on your list of ailments, email me and we can complain and be best internet buddies.

                You can probably see that I have writing A.D.D. This is why I would have failed AP English. That class was dropped as soon as I saw the summer work. Well, in my head at least. I waited another 2 weeks to actually drop the class. I’m lazy.

                I’m really going  to regret writing this (Oh, I did.) instead of just getting my booty up and getting my laptop with is like 5 feet away currently serenading me with Mighty Boosh soundtrack. Also, now that I took the time to write this second blog, I will be expected even more by the imaginary readers to write more. Stupid blogs. Now I’ll feel inclined to spend my sleepless evenings writing about things that no one cares about instead of coloring a picture of Hello Kitty or reading that stupid Twilight fan fictions I downloaded onto my Kindle for shiggles and got addicted to. Instead of crossing things off the ever growing to do list or doing something productive, I’ll be feeding you all of the things my brain regurgitates at 12:30AM. So, thanks.

                I really should get back to that cleaning…

I’m The New Log Rolling Champion.

Or I would have been if I wouldn’t have been too young to partake. Lumber festivals are not fun. Having a kid who runs the nacho stand and looks like a creeper from your hometown blatantly turn around and stare at you as you walk away to go get money to buy a drink or a soy candle or something un-lumber related is also not fun.

On the plus side, I got a chili cheese dog out of it…

And the satisfaction of knowing that I’m still hot stuff even if I’m sweating my non-existent testicals off.

On another note, On Demand (Or Xfinity) has all the old Cartoon Network shows all the 90s kids know and love. Like FOSTER’S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS. I love this show. Currently, “Frankie My Dear” episode is entertaining me from this TV at my grandparents so that I’m not home if I like… die or pass out or something when I’m home alone. I don’t laugh at the poor kid for having a crush on an older woman. I had the biggest crush on that kid from Even Stevens (Not Shia, the other kid with the shaggy blonde hair.) Like, a kissing the TV crush. Yeah, I was a weird kid and it hasn’t gotten any better. Shia was hot for a while. Like in Disturbia? Oh mah gawd.

But I digress, shows these days suck. SUCK. S-U-C-K. Adventure time? STUPID. Bring back Courage the Cowardly Dog and Invader Zim. Scare the pants off us with the “Return the Slab” episode and let us all fall in love with Gir again because he’s just so gosh darn cute. What is this Victorious and Hannah Montana garbage? Seriously, Miley Cyrus is a two cent gutter slut and Victorious just sounds stupid. Just stupid.

Anywho, I’m off to play Minecraft and watch more wonderful TV.